I'm Fine, thank you. Kefinte?

So nice to return from the Mediterranean to nearly three inches of wet snow in Minneapolis. My computer would not allow me to send messages from Malta,so what I intended as a journal turned into a short series of articles.

This year's trip began back in November when I discovered a really incredible fare from Minneapolis to Malta--about half of what we usually had to pay--on line. I had intended to make another trip to promote my novel, The Cellini Masterpiece, that is set in Malta. I quickly signed up my wife and me. Our 29-year-old daughter, thinking that this might be the last time we could all take a trip together--we're both getting so old, you know--decided she wanted to come with us. Making the cheap fare doubly nice, we had also won a week stay in a four-star hotel in Malta by listening to a time-share sales pitch. (We didn't buy, but they honored their pledge). In March, the weather in Malta is nice and the tourists haven't yet arrived in droves. Actually, as you will see, March wasn't such a great idea this year.

I planned to replenish the stock of TCM in Malta. Since my promotional trip last year, all but a few copies had been sold. This trip, with a layover in London, gave me the opportunity to resupply from a stock in GB and take them to Malta with me. I contacted my friend Arnold, who lives near Gatwick, and told him I would pick the books up on our way. Everything seemed perfect.

I was suffering my way through the final rewrites for Mix, Match and Murder and was really looking forward to the vacation/business trip. Everything seemed fine until the first glitch showed up in February. We got an e-mail from the company who had booked our fare saying that the leg from London Gatwick to Malta had been canceled and we would be have to stay an extra day in London.

This meant we would have to rearrange our Malta schedule and find a hotel in London, but it didn't seem to be too big a problem. The Gatwick Express runs to Victoria Station, and there were lots of hotels in the area, Arnold told us. He thought it might be fun to take in a play. It sounded like a good idea and I arranged tickets to see the play "The Woman in Black" It had garnered great reviews and was considered a classic horror/thriller work. I also found a hotel within walking distance of Victoria Station and we were all set. Arnold would meet me at Gatwick and transfer the books. We'd go on into London.

Arnold had given me his cell-phone number and said he would pick us up at around ten o'clock on our arrival day. With jet lag plus lack of sleep on the long flight, I could barely think. I completely forgot that Arnold's cell phone number and the time he would pick us up. We also weren't sure where he would meet us. All I remembered was his saying, "Just stand by one of the places outside the airport. I'll circle until I see you."

We stood in a cold wind for more than an hour. Our American cellphone didn't work so we couldn't call Arnold, and in any case the only number I had for him was for his home. At ten-fifteen we gave up and took the train into London. Later, while we were riding, my wife found the incriminating document with Arnold's "mobile" number and the time he would pick us up. When I called him from London, he told me had arrived at ten-twenty. We must have missed him by five minutes. I was mortified. Worse, I didn't get my books to take to Malta.

The London hotel we had chosen had no elevator, two hard beds, and a bathroom/shower just barely large enough to close the door when you went inside. You had to keep your feet off the floor when you flushed to toilet so you wouldn't get sucked down the floor drain. The ad also said the hotel had WiFi. It didn't mention it would cost five pounds. We took the tube to the Fortune Theater. Shakespeare scholars will recognize the name. Our seats in the tiny theater made us feel right on the stage, and we witnessed a remarkable two-man performance replete with screams from about 50 female high school drama students sitting behind us. We returned to the hotel. Bedbugs and cockroaches didn't carry us away. The next morning we returned to Gatwick for our flight to Malta.